Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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