bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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