I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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