Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Found your dick twin last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
