i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
