He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
