i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
