I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
