I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
