i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
