A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
