i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize