This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
