Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
