Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
