well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
