you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
