Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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