my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
