yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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