We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So much rum. So many feels.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
