Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
