I think scott just propositioned me for sex
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I did not marry a roomba.
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