Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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