i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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