i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
