So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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