I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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