Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
