Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
