She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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