sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
