im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
