I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
