its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
