So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
