question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just had sex on a roof
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
