my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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