using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize