time to smoke my breakfast
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to cum in my sink.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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