How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
