She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
