I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
