smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
