She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
