Don't you send me to vm
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
