I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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