Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Your dad touched me again.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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