Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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