We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
